This month I'll be watching bad movies and taking the most ridiculous scenes out of what little context they have to remind us all that other people have failed much, much harder than we ever will. For example, you'd have to break your dick in a dishwasher or get a goat pregnant to fail as hard as the makers of:
Man's Best Friend
In this scene, Max the genetically engineered killer dog escapes from a top secret research facility and fulfills every dog's dream by growing razor sharp claws and chasing a cat up a tree. And if that sentence seems ridiculous to you then you’re a better screenwriter than the guy who penned this script. Of course, this scene means to carry on as it began: improbably. So, after catching up with the cat, Max goes one further and swallows it whole like a duck. The greatest aspect of this scene is that you just know that the cat they used absolutely hated being jammed into a weird prosthetic dog and that some poor gaffer probably got scrammed silly.
Best Line: “You sicced him on that cat not me!”